Hey guys, there a long time i did not show sign of life, actually i think it was a good things since everything i did to this communauty, whatever i dont think ive only did bad thing, i think ive also did some good ones, but at the end its hard to remember the good ones after all the bad ones, and i totally understand that.
At the same time, Some people will not understand that, and its all good bout me, i dont ask for forgive, i dont ask for mercy, the only thing i have to said is sorry, sorry if i hurt some peoples about my behavior, sorry if i hurt some peoples by the way i was handle my personal desire. It was not right because at the end we are a communauty and i forgive that, i have did my things like if i was the only one to be important. But it's not the case, certainly not.
But i also hope you guys remember There was a time where ive never been like that, for almost 10 years of my life i have been cool with everyone at this game, sure i had some issue with peoples, like everyone too, but never i have been like the 2 past years.
The reason why i did that is only because i had some personal issue in my real life, it was not mental issue, but certainly issue with myself, with the fact ive lost alot of things in my life for this game, like my girlfriend, like a job, like my friend and or my family. And i dont said ive lost those thing because of this game, but only because i was not able to be smart about my own time.
When youre playing 16 hours per day, it's pretty sure you will lose everything whatever the game is, but i was not ebale to realize that.
So the only thing i was telling to myself was to bring this game like what i want since i lose everything for it, but it was not right and certainly not the good way.
Wahtever, since a couple of months, alot of things have change in my life, like the fact i get a job, i get a girlfriend, i get some friends back, and i realize it was just a question of getting out of my gaming life pattern.
I also realize i had to made peace with me and peace with other to be good with myself, so this is what i want to do with you guys today, im not planning to get back full time, but i miss alot of you, i miss alot of that family we have been for alot of years, whatever i have said in the last 2 years, i still love alot of you, you guys are still part of my life, and i hope we still gonna be friends for the rest of our life, it dont mean we still gonna play this game at 60 years old, and maybe we will, but at the end i just hope we still gonna be able to talk between us at 60 years old. Because we really are a family, this game have something alot of other games will never understand. And it,s important to me to make peace with you guys, because i still hope we gonna have those funny discussion and those funny opinions about everything and have fun about it.
I dont want to be the shame of this game for the rest of my life, sure i cant erase what i did, but im pretty sure i can repair some of it just by being the old equinox i was before, by being a better person then i was for the 2 past years.
Thats why i want to tell sorry at everyone and especially all those admins like iL, Blid, Tora, Burtn, moustopher foonat and everyone as players.
Like i said im not planning to play full time cuz i dont have time anymore, but we never know when i will feel about it, because yes this game will always be a part of my life, yes ive said i will retire of this game, and i consider i really did it, because ive never play with equinox again since that time, sure i have smurf, but i did it pretty rarely just like that because i still love this game, but i doubt it will be the same as before where i was giving my entire day, week, month and years.
I also feel the desire to keep streaming for this game sometime, i will not do it alot, but i hope when i will do it, it will make peoples happy for this short time, i hope it also gonna make some promotion for it, even if it's just 2 views, because at the end, 2 views is maybe 2 future player who gonna bring 2 more friends of them.
So maybe one day we gonna be a bigger game and a bigger communauty, and if it's not the case, then who cares, cuz untill we are still togheter, the real communauty since the past, then we should be happy, cuz thats the real family.
Like i said i dont ask for forgivin or mercy, but i hope you guys gonna understand i dont want to keep like the 2 last years, i want to be the old good one equinox, that guy everyone was happy to see when i was loggin on, i hope we can start something new and forget about the past, i hope we gonna be friend again if i loggin on again.
Thats only what i want, what i hope.
Hope to see you soon guys, have fun, one love.