Reason I ask is because as a sexually active heterosexual male I have a very hard time understanding how someone could have their penis removed. Even if someone found themselves sexually attracted to men rather than women I would imagine they would still experience pleasure thru use of their penis.
Transgendered seem to not experience sexual stimulation thru use of their penis. Or sexual stimulation thru use of their anus is so much greater they have no use for their penises.
You're getting way too bogged down in how sex would work or what a trans person might do with their body parts, and with the phrase "self-loathing,"etc. In short a trans person is simply someone that feels much more "right" as another gender. Living as a gender you don't think you should be would be difficult, but presenting as a different gender and being accepted as that gender is also a difficult process. The way you dress, hormones, and surgeries are some of the ways people might approach the issue, but what a trans woman is gonna do with their dick isn't really the center of their being trans and might vary by circumstance.