how in the fuck do you take an 25 year old game that fell from relevance more than a decade ago??? hmm
the graphics and sound are almost right off the Atari 2600...can you imagine what kind of review the video game nerd would give this piece of puked out shit???
after a nice brief history recap...
''what the fuck are all these popups stopping me from installing the game''
''wait how in the fuck did I even find this game, im going to play some shit I downloaded from RUSSIA....FROM FUCKING RUSSIA?
''jesus this game gives me a migrane, and I haven't even played a game yet, the graphics and sound...fucking rancid puss to the senses"
''alright...uh...what the fuck no single player? talk about ahead of its time...fuck the single player...its all about the internets baby....fucking battle.net is broken? what in the name of satin are all these server options that don't even work...fuuuuuck...how do you even play this game....battle.net doesn't work...I assume RU is the fuckign Russians who probably are using this program to steal my identity...but even that doesn't work.....you have to fucking tab out tell fucking windows AGAIN that its okay to run this old piece of shit....WHAT>THE<>FUCK!??! tabbing out apparently gave me an acid trip....LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SCREEN ALL THIS COLOR AND I CANT TELL WHAT THE FUCK IS QWHAT!!
''jesus age Christ...I had to goto youtube and listen to some guy go on for about 45 mintues to walk me through setting up a 15meg 25 year old game and when I finally get connected do I realize...THIS GAME IS FUCKING AS DEAD AS MY SEX LIFE!!
sure there are 20 people connected to the game...but none of them are playing...why are you connected if you are not going to talk or play? so let me get this straight...I downloaded a game that was once had single player (which has been removed) and multiplayer...but now the multiplayer is the only way to play...except that no one plays...so while I go online to play multiplayer, I actually end up just playing the computer...
so after my gaming 'experience', I was making this review and some guy who seemed even more of a fucking weirdo than I ever could be, I was asked to log back on and try out the game with the diehard community...apparently all 6 of them were logged on at that time.
they offered to let me watch them play....watch them play? what the fuck...I PLAY VIDEO GAMES...if I want to watch something ill turn on my TELEVISION SET.
here are the results of my extensive video game playing experiences put to the test by warcraft II: combat edition
FROM FUCKING RUSSIA.....FUCKING RUSSIA...WITH LOVE
Round 1: Fight
'ok so this is a game where you literally start from scratch...the game begins with 1 peon (apparently the orc crush the humans so everyone plays orcs and the people who watch choose humans)
the game isn't all that horrible dispite the shitty annoying sound fx and the eye soar called graphics..its pretty straight forward as most rts are...make workers, gather resources, build to advance the tech tree for the ability for better units and abilities..
wait...what the fuck....my peons are fucking exploding as they come out of my gold mine....fuuuuck....WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!! I CANNOT SEE A REASON FOR THIS...I KEEP MAKING PEONS..THEY KEEP FUCKING TURNING INTO GORE..HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO MAKE AN ARMY...JESUS SHIT OUT MY HEART ... that's it I cant even make another peon I have no gold and all the peons I did have are just dust and bones by the gold mine...what happened
did the goldmine have a disaster..like it collapsed inside?
I cant do anything so I guess ill leave the game.
apparently I got attacked and never saw it. this fucking faggot fuck made a cannon tower on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TREE LINE...
also apparently I cannot keep this up. my self amusement is over and if any of you 25 guys which make up the whole community by this point have also had enough...
id rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in my ear
rather eat the rotten asshole
Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
They rip you off and don't care one bit
But this nerd, he doesn't forget it
Why can't a turtle swim? Why can't I land the plane?
They got a quick buck for this shitload of fuck
The characters names are wrong. Why's the password so long?
Why don't the weapons do anything?
cowabunga, Cowa-fuckin'-piece'a dog shithttp://www.youtube.com/user/JamesNintendoNerd