« on: January 07, 2019, 09:32:48 AM »
Since multiple servers are promoted on these boards ru, backup ru, mousetopher, backup mousetopher, and surely the battle net us east is mentioned somewhere also, the issue is cleay not *simply* with there being another server for people to play at.
The issue that creates animosity from ru towards one in particular stems, I believe, from an ideological position that it is offensive to be told someone is doing something "wrong", even if it's true.
People who like to intentionally anger others with taunts and insults (esp. about their sexuality) assert it is their right to do so and that others should not be so sensitive. These same people are the ones who will lose their minds the fastest when it's done to them.
I once saw a user start purposefully provoking another after our game ended.
"You seem really sexually frustrated." The guy targeted was starting to get mad.
Wanting to shut down the negative nonsense, I started saying the same things back to the provoker to that he was saying to others and he flipped his lid, completely lost his mind and went into a full-on rage I'd estimate for over 30 minutes, maybe close to an hour, that is not at all the response of a healthy, stable person who has control over his own feelings and impulses.
So the reins of the whole show are in the hands of emotionally unstable people who have not developed in their level of emotional control much since they were toddlers who throw a screaming and stomping fit when they can't have the spoon they like because a sibling got it.
So what's going on here? What's up with people today?
"Tommy, eat your vegetables."
"I HATE YOU MOM! I HATE YOU!" *throws plate, screams, stomps, runs upstairs, slams door*
I honestly think this problem stems from a bigger societal problem.
These guys didn't have a loving mother encouraging healthy eating habits or a loving father setting a good example of how a decent, honest, hard-working, emotionally stable strong man looks and acts who loves his wife and his son. Because if they had had that example, they would have turned out in all likelihood as kind, decent, sensible, hard-working, respectable people.
This is the missing parent generation. The generation whose mothers either put them in an orphanage (daycare) or who slept with a poor quality partner who did not want commitment or responsibility and who left her to raise the child alone.
Children need love, stability, someone present making them feel secure, cared for, safe, warm, loved, heard, valued. If the small child's own mother has ditched him, whether by choice or force, he can't tell, he is alone in the world with strangers and must make his own way in a time when he is not yet prepared to cope with the world alone, but designed to form an attachment to his mother, who in a healthy situation where she is present, is his safety, anchor, comfort. When he has a question, and his inquisitive mind is full of so many, he always has someone close by to ask who will teach him. When he cries, she holds him in her arms. When he is scared, she takes his fear away with her presence and calming words of comfort. She bathes, dresses, feeds, nourishes him. He loves her. She loves him. When he misbehaves, she corrects him. She sets an example in her manner and behavior first and foremost, of patience, hard work, loyalty, kindness, self-control, joy, and love. Daddy comes home from work. He runs to him and they embrace each other.
He tells his father about a frog he saw at the park that day while daddy takes off his coat. They sit down for dinner together. They discuss the day. There's warmth, talking, laughing, love, and joy.
This is what's missing from an entire generation, because people abandoned virtue and morality, marriage and children, and embraced the lie of cheap, free, easy sex with no strings.
Feminism is partly to blame. The "liberated" woman who now has slept with 10, 20, 30 men and finds herself pregnant with no supporter is in a much worse position than the old fashioned woman who kept herself for her husband and valued herself, morality, marriage, family and has a husband to support her when she is pregnant with his baby.
The sons of feminism may be deprived of a father if she stays home with the child and is supported by her parents or the government, but may be deprived of both if she goes to work full time and he is left to be raised by no parent. The sons of feminism are getting the short end of the stick because of their mother's poor sexual choices. There is no way a woman can both nurse and raise her young child herself and work full time to provide food, shelter and clothing. It turns out women need men after all.
So what happens to the little boys who grew up alone?
When they are scared, no one is there. When they cry, no one holds them. When they have a question, they have no safe anchor to ask. They may be in a roomful of unrelated children with several frazzled adults chaperoning the entire mess, but none of them has time to hold any one child for 30 minutes in a room of so many. The institution may provide food and basic hygeinic care, but the adults are not the mothers. They do not, nor are they able to, love a huge herd of unrelated children as if each were their own child.
Aggression between the children is common. Children develop a "survival" mindset by necessity to cope with a world where they are unanchored, lost in the crowd, unloved...just...a job to someone who may be in a different job next week. The long term outcome of this boy's future and character development is not even on the employee's radar.
Maybe the mother is a drug addict or an abuser. Maybe she tells her young son he's worthless and unwanted. Maybe he gets smacked around for every mistake he makes. He grows up angry and resentful, distrustful of women, of men, of himself.
Maybe he was just alone. No one was there when there should have been.
The bottom line is people who grow up with loving present parents where the mother raises their young children herself and the father works to provide for the family in a stable home where the parents patiently discipline, set a good example, teach decent behavior, and so on, just don't turn out to be humanity-hating rage-a-holics who habitually verbally or even physically attack people for no reason.
When people act in ways that demonstrate "I'm broken. I'm lost. I'm hurting. I don't trust anyone. No one cares about me. I need to hurt you because I'm hurting," I feel pity.
But I'm at a loss in how to deal with an adult who is locked in this type of mindset from a miserable and lonely and possibly abusive childhood.
Kindness doesn't seem to have any effect because they don't trust it. They may have seen institutional kindness from kind employees or teachers in school, but the person was never there in the long run. Next year you have a different teacher.
What can you do to damaged souls and minds to help? I don't know.
But I know what the answer is not.
The answer is *not* to let a group of people damaged this way destroy each other, and reinforce the messages they had growing up.
"No one wants you."
"You're not good."
Discipline is love. Stopping one child from pummelling another is necessary to make each one feel safe.
Discipline is love. Children need rules and boundaries to feel safe.
I don't know for sure how damaged adult minds can be healed, but I believe discipline is one step. Establishing rules, boundaries, that will let the broken child inside feel safe and valued and protected.
"If I'm not allowed to aggress on Bill, Bill isn't allowed to aggress on me."
It's a start to providing a kind of place where conversation and connection and hope can even happen.
Feminists have created a generation of men who distrust and disrespect women because they did not have a loving mother-child relationship as young children when it was needed. A woman can only be a sex object to be used and discarded. The concept of loving, trusting, marrying one is so far fetched to a mind that didn't experience love or family as a child. Pornography is a weapon against men, to keep them locked away from love and family, and to endanger their most important relationship if they have one. Pornography is also a weapon against women, but that much is already common knowledge.
You can see how well feminism has improved the world.
I do not know if the damage to the minds of today's angry and broken young adults can ever be reversed or healed. I think it probably takes a miracle.